Last year, we visited Ambergris Caye in Belize. Our little condo on the beach had a guestbook, and as soon as we settled in, I started perusing previous visitors’ comments. Several folks offered helpful dos and don’ts, local info, and lots of praise for the hosts. And then I reached this entry:

Leave this place immediately. This isn’t the true Belize. Get out of your comfort zone, people. If you want to be in a place that’s exactly like America, just stay there. – Jason

After my head exploded a bit, I took several deep breaths, then performed a dramatic reenactment of Jason’s commentary for my husband and friends. Everyone agreed that Jason sucked and should fall into a sinkhole. Since no one had written on the other side of page, I tore his entry out of the guestbook and folded it into an airplane, and we all took turns throwing it into the ceiling fan until it was obliterated.

Since that experience, I refer to a specific category of people as “Jasons.” A Jason is much like a Karen, with one important difference. While Karen wants to speak to your manager, Jason thinks he is your manager.

We’ve all met Jason, right? He’s that super fun guy who offers a veritable treasure trove of smug, unsolicited advice, leaving you wondering how you’ve managed to survive without him. And really, how have you? You had no idea what a shit job you were doing at life until Jason popped on the scene to save you from your ineptitude.

I recently met a Jason at a gas station. This Jason informed me that, if I didn’t place my palm on the outside of the car to ground myself between inserting the nozzle and touching my door handle, I would blow up. He imparted this gem of wisdom with pronounced gravity and sternness, as if I had just put myself and everyone in the vicinity in grave danger by skipping his tried and true grounding technique.

True story. I’m telling you, Jasons abound, spewing their guidance hither and yon while remaining entirely oblivious to the prickly social cues of their victims.

By the way, here’s how we felt about Ambergris Caye:

Take that, Jason.