The other day, my husband JR – a teacher for over 20 years – received a friend request and personal message from a “former student.” The message was pretty generic – “Thanks so much for believing in me when I was your student;” “You made a big difference in all of our lives;” etc. – but here’s the thing: JR had no idea who the person was. Per her profile, her age and location fit with his teaching history, but she was completely unfamiliar, and as he re-read her message, he said, “This sounds like it was created by ChatGPT.”

What his experience tells me is this: scammers are targeting people with specific professions. Going after teachers is a good bet; I imagine they’ll target social workers and counselors, as well, aiming to catfish people with a bent towards compassion, more apt to fall for a sob story. If JR had bitten the hook and replied, “Hey, thanks for your message, but I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else,” the scammer would’ve responded with something like: “Oh! I’m so sorry! You really seemed familiar…” then asked a bunch of ingratiating questions, prompting a back-and-forth which would’ve eventually, inevitably led to: “You know, I hate to ask this, but I’ve fallen on some really hard times…”

At this point, we all know not to go out and buy a bunch of gift cards to pay off out-of-the-blue bank debts (right, Great Aunt Gladys??), or to give the IRS, FBI, or Sheriff’s Department – who are suddenly texting us, for some reason – our credit card’s CVV code, even though they URGENTLY need it in the next THIRTY MINUTES or we are DEFINITELY GOING TO JAIL. But these extortion scams just keep getting weirder. Instead of creating a false sense of urgency around impending doom, they’ve entered a creepier realm.

For example, have y’all gotten the PDF yet that features a photo of your house, names of folks you know, and a demand for money or they’re totally gonna ruin your life because they know where you live??? Blech. So gross. Of course, all of those images and information are easily obtained via public domains on the internet, but it definitely feels like a sinister threat and privacy violation when it pops up in your inbox.

And you’ve probably received the random texts and WhatApp messages that say something like “Hey,” or, “How’ve you been?” or, “I’m here, where are you?” or, “Julie, I came to pick up the flowers, but it’s the wrong order.” If you’re compelled to tell these randos they’ve got the wrong number, feel free to do so, but please know: if they try to keep the conversation going, it’s a scam. No one out there is looking to make genuine human connections through accidental wrong numbers. This isn’t a rom-com, people. This is the real world, and the real world is BLEAK. These strangers don’t want to fall in love with you. They just want to steal your life’s savings.

All of that being said (and speaking of how bleak the real world is), the sad fact is that many of the folks generating scam messages and catfishing hooks are doing so against their will, as victims of human trafficking, so I do try not to respond in a super hateful way. I just delete, block, and report. And sometimes, if I’m having a particularly bad day, I might send one of these:

…and then delete/block/report.

So let’s spread the word about these creepy, yucky scams, everyone. Tell your friends! Tell your families! Tell the elderly, and pray that someone will do the same for us when we’re in their shoes! It’s a little terrifying to think of how these scams will evolve over the next 5, 10, 20 years. Eek. I mean, for god’s sake, I barely even understand TikTok. I may be doomed.