[Viewer warning: This post contains sexually explicit images of slugs.]

During a backyard fire with our nephew last summer, I noticed something on the unoccupied chair beside me, then shone my phone’s flashlight on this scene:

I’d seen in a nature documentary that slugs are hermaphrodites who entangle themselves when mating and both end up pregnant afterwards, and I assumed this was the start of such an act. My husband, nephew, and I expressed gratitude that we’d chosen the three slug-free chairs around the fire, as sitting on the slugs would’ve been super gross, especially given their size – about the length and width of an index finger.

We chatted and fed the fire for several minutes before I remembered the love slugs, shone the light on them again, and found them fully entwined, hanging from a string of slime:

I’ve mentioned before that if I think something’s gross, my sister will think it’s cool, so when I encounter gross things out in the world, I take pictures and send them to her. True to form, when I sent the above shot to my sister, she wrote back: Coooooooooollll!!! The rest of us were not convinced, however, our reactions trending more in the “ew” zone.

A few minutes later, I turned the light on the pair once again, and this time, I almost barfed.

I mean, what the hell is happening here?? I sent the image to my sister along with: They’re creating a slime creature! A few seconds later, she wrote back: That is the freaking coolest thing I’ve seen in a long time! I’m sure you totally agree!

At this point, my nephew was laughing really hard, because every time I took a flash photo of the amorous pair, I’d blurt out, “I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!” I just felt bad. Here are these slugs peacefully trying to fulfill their life goal of procreation, and some big lout keeps shining the brightest light in the world on them.

From there, I stopped taking pictures, but what happened next was this: the two climbed back up the string of slime and separated, then one of them ATE THE STRING OF SLIME while the other one left the scene. I have no idea what happened to the slime creature they’d created. It probably broke off and is now running for Congress.

I think it’s very telling that I haven’t done any subsequent research to find out what was actually going on with those slugs. I am curious, but I know that going down that rabbit hole would involve lots more images of slime strands and slime creatures and I just CAN’T. Blech. Perhaps I’ll ask my sister to conduct the research, then give me the Cliffs Notes version…sans visual aids, please and thank you. 😁