A Different Kind of Booster

On a recent walk, I came upon a man standing on the side of the road. He had a pretty creepy vibe, but since I was on a trajectory to walk right past him, I figured I should probably say something. As I passed, I pushed my headphones off one ear, made eye contact, and said, “Hey, good to see you!”

Wait…what did I just say?

Yup. “Good to see you.” That’s what I chose to tell a creepy man I’d never seen before in my life. After two years of limited contact with other humans, my interpersonal muscles have atrophied. I can’t even manage a cliché conversation. At this point, folks, what I need more desperately than anything available from Pfizer or Moderna is a social skills booster.

I envision the SS booster re-instilling basic abilities like:

  • At a store: How to make idle chit-chat with the teller
  • At an event: How to engage in simple, unoffensive group conversation
  • In daily life: How to have a non-mortifying, two-second encounter with a stranger

Given how long the pandemic’s dragged on, I doubt I’m the only socially-impaired person flailing around the world. I recognize a booster shot may be unrealistic, but could someone please open some sort of post-pandemic finishing school?