Last week, many Americans, including myself, got sucker punched right in the heart. Since then, we’ve floated in an awful, nauseating realm of fear and loathing, while receiving this oft-repeated and well-intentioned advice:

• accept outcomes
• focus on the positive
• dole out love and kindness to all
• forgive
• hope
• care about America

But you know what? I don’t feel like doing any of those things. If you’re familiar with me at all, you know that I usually focus on gratitude and respect, but right now, I don’t want to. In fact, I’m doing just the opposite. As my fury-clouded mind swirls in a sea of despair, I find myself making comprehensive mental lists of everything I hate about humans. And although that is where my thoughts keep going, the exercise doesn’t help in the least.

A friend once told me this story: after the sudden death of someone he dearly loved, he made a list of all the people he wished had died instead. After completing that task, his reflections were as follows: (1) the list was way too long, and (2) writing down all those names made him feel like shit. His conclusion, once it was all over, was that he would’ve been far better off making a list of all the people he loved.

In the spirit of learning from someone else’s mistakes, I will now take a few moments to push aside the desire to create a really long, comprehensive hate list, and will try instead to make a different kind of list.

Here we go ~

A Different Kind of Hate List (aka: Things I Love)

• Cornbread & collard greens
• Warm blankets on cold nights
• Funny cat video compilations
• Water droplets on spiderwebs
• Hugging my dogs (I read something recently that said dogs don’t like being hugged, but my dogs told me that’s bullshit)
• Lions, skulls, and dragons
• S’mores
• When people trip and fall (without hurting themselves, of course. I’m not a monster.)
• Train whistles and church bells
• Those videos of military folks coming home to surprise their kids/dogs
• Finding little bridges in the woods
• Hot sauce
• Sleeping in
• Inter-species friendships
• Uproarious laughter
• Snow falling at night (preferably viewed from inside)
• Pizza and beer
• Teachers, firefighters, and EMTs
• Getting lost in a book
• Seeing people hug each other after a long separation
• Red leaves against a blue sky
• Large family gatherings in public parks
• Whiskey

Okay…I must admit, I do feel better now. Positivity wins again, dammit. There go my hate list aspirations.