Soon after I moved to the South, I was exposed to an unfamiliar turn of phrase: “might could.” In my rigidly grammatical mind, “might could” is not acceptable, as it comes straight out of the Department of Redundancy Department, and that shit drives me nuts. Granted, it’s not as egregious as “also too” (OH MY GOD THOSE WORDS MEAN THE SAME DAMN THING JUST CHOOSE ONE YOU ARE FIGURATIVELY KILLING ME), but it’s still bad.
Earlier this week, I had the unfortunate experience of seeing a video about the GOP’s fancy new tax plan. About halfway through, my hands balled into fists of rage, I heard a voice suspiciously like my own drawl these words:
“Well. I might could lose it.”
And you know what? It was weirdly comforting, perhaps because, in my head, I sounded a bit like my Papa Walden, a lovely Southern gentleman who was known to say, “Well,” thus capturing the attention of everyone in the room, then follow it up with complete silence, as if his intention was to reign us in for a moment of quiet introspection. (In reality, I think he’d say, “Well,” kind of by accident, then forget it ever happened.)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – absurd times call for absurd responses. So go ahead and try it, folks. The next time you feel like you’re about to lose your freakin’ mind, drawl out a nice, long “might could” (or its kissing cousin, “might should”). While you’re at it, throw in a “galdurnit” just for fun. Who knows ~ it might could help.