Going Through Hell

When I spoke to a client a few months back, she was “goin’ thru it,” as my husband tends to say when life falls apart. Her kid was in a medical crisis that had caused her to miss exams and fail a class, thus screwing both her financial aid situation and pending post-graduation employment. It was one of those painful phone calls during which, as a counselor, I couldn’t offer much besides: “I am so sorry,” “That’s just awful,” and, “Don’t forget to breathe.”

I talked to her again last week, and when I asked how school was going, she replied, “Great! Graduation’s tomorrow!” She’d gotten an emergency loan, powered through the last semester, had a good job lined up, and all was well with her kiddo’s health. She sounded fantastic.

This conversational juxtaposition reminded me of something my uncle said throughout his many years of cancer treatment: “When you’re going through Hell, don’t stop. Keep going!” In a similar vein, I recently saw a sign that read: Rearrange the letters in depression, and you get “I pressed on.” Sure, it’s kinda hokey, and I don’t know how much weight should be put on the significance of rearranging letters (“live” rearranged makes “evil,” after all), but I still appreciate the sentiment. Sometimes hokey can be helpful.

I need to hold onto those valuable lessons during this season, aka “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” (a Christmas song often referenced with pronounced sarcasm). As we all know, this time of year can be less than wonderful. It can mean horrendous traffic, long lines, crowds, financial stress, family drama, travel nightmares, and general impatience/crankiness. And for many, it’s a time fraught with anxiety, sadness, and anger.

Perhaps the best thing we can do to muddle through the next couple weeks is act as one another’s cheerleaders. The next time I see someone red-faced and bug-eyed with distress, I’ll try offering a kindly wave and smile of encouragement. Hopefully they’ll hear the message behind the gestures: “Looks like you’re goin’ thru it, friend, but don’t stop ~ keep going! And don’t forget to breathe!”

One thought on “Going Through Hell

  1. Right on. Although I don’t have an acute crisis this December (as I did the last two), I am foregoing most of everything Christmas. I am choosing self care instead. Even the Christmas carols have irritated me, so I took that as a symptom. My central nervous system needs something else right now. I am giving myself rest, downtime and radical truth telling. Good gifts!

    Liked by 1 person

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